List #273: Those Princely Memories

I am a child of the 1980s and so my childhood was filled with records and basement dance parties while my parents drank cheap beer and caught up with friends. I remember the adults entertaining us rowdy kids by listening to our song requests over and over again. Now I recognize that this was probably just an attempt to have a few moments of adult fun when surrounded by chaos but back then, it felt as if they though we were the best DJs in the entire city.

And when midday news broke that the legendary Prince had died these dance parties were one of the first things I remembered. Being in your mid-30s means you really can't remember a time in your life without Prince. Being a 30-something year-old woman means you probably find Prince completely sexually attractive. And and it probably means you're going to spend the upcoming weekend dancing

Besides basement dance parties, Prince was there:

• On half days off from school when someone's mom (or my dad) would load a bunch of kids into the backseat of a car and head to Pizza Hut. No one cared about carseats back in those days, at least not for anyone who could talk, so the amount of legs dangling over seats could be quite a few. And when we got to Pizza Hut, we'd cash in our Book-It! personal pan pizza coupons and throw quarter after quarter into the Jukebox. And I would always, always select "Raspberry Beret" for reasons I'm a little unclear of. I wasn't really eating raspberries in the 1980s though I did own a beret. But I did love, and still love that song, even if I'm no longer eating personal pan pizzas while it plays.
• When I was really little my absolute favorite song was "Manic Monday" by The Bangles. I wanted to be the girl in the song:  Monday morning, leaving my lover in bed, hot-shot job downtown, independent and awesome. I was four/five when that song was popular but I think I sensed then that my adult life was going to be a madhouse. Employment down, deadbeat lover, late to work. It's the story of my early 20s really. In college one of my roommates would jump start our week by blaring it through computer speakers every Monday morning. It's perfect. It's like Prince knew in 1985 I would need a girl group anthem to get me through life.
• I was just a little Catholic grade school girl when Prince released Diamonds and Pearls. But oh my gosh, did I love it. I remember the year I went to a new ballet school because the old one was getting too expensive and I wasn't going to be a professional ballerina the other dancers and I would sit outside on parking lot curbs listening to this album. We'd sing along to "Diamonds and Pearls" and I remember thinking that "Cream" was just about the sexiest song I had ever heard. I still do. This is Prince at his sexiest.
• Remember the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack had that beautiful version of "When Doves Cry?" Of course you do. Take a few moments to remember the glory that is that song right now. 
• I graduated high school in 1999. I don't think there was a week that went by that year where I didn't hear "1999 (Party Like It's 1999)" at least once. I'm still kind of bitter that our senior prom theme was "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House and not Prince's millennial masterpiece. Seriously, how was that even possible?! 
• I don't think there is a woman alive who hasn't tossed her heels off her feet and ran to the dance floor as those first few chords of "Kiss" began to play at some epic dance. Sure this song is played at just about every wedding but it's forever locked in my college sorority memories. Tipsy and in formal dresses, all of my girlfriends would gather on the floor and sing to each other. Our dates stood a little baffled, or at least a little more drunk. And if they don't play "Kiss" at college sorority formals anymore I just feel bad for those girls.

I've been spending my evening alone listening to Prince's greatest hits album and each song elicits a strong memory. He's just always been there. He was even on New Girl and I didn't think it was a catchy gimmick, I thought it was legitimately thrilling and I would have acted the same way if I got to go attend a party with Prince. 

I know his music will live on. But frankly, it's just not going to be the same. Something will be missing the next time I race to a dance floor or belt Prince from the top of my lungs. Thank goodness for memories. 

Letter # 50-something: Listen Here

Dear Pennsylvania Voters,
Our Primary is on Tuesday and whether or not you agree with my politics, just go vote. I don't even care if you the primaries don't matter. Just go vote. In a world where everyone complains about the government the best thing we can do is voice our opinions. And yes, I know the general election is still months away but every election counts.

Dear Spider Above My Window,
You go on ahead and keep trying to eat that stink bug. It's impressive that you're doing it without a web too. But just know that both of you don't stand a chance against my fierce fists and paper towels.

Dear Actor Who Plays Sam on New Girl,
You're hot. We need more of you. Keep coming back.

Dear People Who Ask Women When They Plan on Having a Baby,
I don't know how many times we need to go over this, but please just stop. We don't really owe you anything in terms of an answer but we're nice and it's too hard to dodge the subject so we have to say something kind committal. But each woman has their own stories to tell and it should be no one's concerned until we are ready to share them. Just be kind.

Dear Pittsburgh Penguins,
I'm sorry that our household did not get to watch as many games as we hoped for this year. Cutting cable kind of puts a damper on live hockey. But we've never lost our fandom and we're all in on these playoffs. Let's do this.

Dear Upstairs Bathtub,
The one thing I desperately wanted in a house was a very deep bathtub. It was the one thing I didn't really get. Every evening around nine, especially when I'm home alone, I get annoyed that you aren't as deep and as long as I'd prefer and curse that soaking in the tub isn't as luxurious as it was when I was single in my apartment. But I guess I'll still take you.

Always,
This Lady

List #272: The Huggable Kid

The little one in this house will celebrate a birthday later this month. We don't do joint birthday parties with the other half of his family and the custody schedule doesn't line up with us having him on his birthday so we will be celebrating the weekend before with family. And all of his growing up and being able to tell us not only how old he'll be but just when, exactly, his birthday is has me feeling a little sad.

I met our little birthday boy was he was tiny, not even a 7 pounds, and just over a month and a half old. My family was just beginning though it was such a strange time for everyone else in his family that those first few steps seem so fragile. He was fragile, new relationships were fragile, and so were family dynamics.

But now he's big. And that single dad I met is now my husband. And our ball of energy kid has two happy homes and he's about to turn three.

All of these nostalgic and emotional thoughts have got me thinking about all of the great hugs this kid has given. And all of the love this kid just pours out from his heart. He is not a subtle child. He wears his heart on his sleeve for better (when he's all about snuggling and giving kisses in the morning) and for worse (when he's making the worst mean face you've ever seen and he's screaming because no, he cannot have that pack of fruit snacks right at this moment). When this kid shows loves, he shows it fully:

• Our first hug was more "tiny newborn falling asleep on my chest." I gave his dad a little break so that he could type a few work emails or go to the bathroom or take out the garbage, I don't remember the particulars. But I do have a photo of the two of us, eyes closed, tiny smiles and open arms. 
• When he was first learning to hug, the little one would just sort of lay his body against yours. He'd tilt his head and lay in on your shoulder, arms flat on his side. It was both hilarious and charming. And occasionally, when he's pretty tired, he'll still do this.
• Tired hugs, on those rare occasions he falls asleep in the car in the evening, and I carry him up our stairs. Both arms tight around my neck. And maybe a whisper of "I love you."
• The little one is fast. His coordination is not always the best, but boy, can he run. So often our evenings usually include one full sprint across the great room straight into our legs, arms hugging them tight. And a shout of "I love you!"
• The sad hugs. When he's being dropped off at daycare, especially. When we're leaving him for the day and he just doesn't want to go. Oh, that's a band-aid ripped from your heart. Those big eyes and sad cheeks streaked with tears.
• This budding preschooler is mildly obsessed with the family cat. He looks for him immediately upon coming home, chases him all over, swears he's not trying to scare him, and pretty much wants to kiss and hug him all of the time. The tiny pats he gives the cat are the best. And so is the way an otherwise needy cat is so sweet with him too.
• This kid loves his grandparents. Which is a good thing because he has plenty of them. But the big, open, loud, crazy hugs he gives my parents and the husband's parents are just too sweet for words. I think he'd prefer if we all lived together with those grandparents in one big mansion, but until that day comes, he'll shower them with all the love and affection. 

I think part of the reason I'm feeling so nostalgic for those baby days is because with year he gets older, we get closer to those years where he won't want to hug us. And well, my heart just can't handle that right now. So I'll take these huggable moments and throw in some extra fruit snacks here and there too. Maybe that will get me a few extra. 

List #271: April Mornings Alone

The husband is away in some New England state for a business trip this morning so I woke up alone in a Casper bed. And thanks to a really difficult time trying to fall asleep last night much later than I wanted to. I actually had to take a Tylenol PM at 1:22 am because my mind just would not stop. 

I am always at war with myself because I think I should be doing more in the house:  cleaning, crafting, writing, organizing, whatever it is that I'm not currently doing at the moment. But thankfully that guilt has subsided this morning and the budding headache is telling to me to schedule a bit of self-care. And since it's just me and the cat here, we're sitting on the couch just...being.

I'm kind of dreading getting up from this (very comfortable) couch in an hour or so to get ready for work. I'll enjoy work when I get there, but when you work a late shift just the thought of it feels like such a very, very, very long day. 

So with full efforts to try and chase the cold out of my bones, the pain out of my head, and aches out of my knees. This has been my morning:

• I woke to text messages from the husband wishing me good morning. I am pretty sure I saw them, promptly rolled over, thought it took 3 minutes to respond...but didn't really respond for a proper half hour.
• The cat meowed and cried to be fed sometime around 7 am in line with his morning effort to catch birds in the yard from the inside of our house.
• A hot shower where I let the water run down my back for just a little too long. Here's the thing, I prefer my showers scalding. I want my skin to be red and the fog on the mirror to be so thick I can't even make out an outline of my body as I step out.
• My favorite comedy podcast releases new episodes, so I listened to the intro and first few bits as I scrubbed in that hot shower.
• Fed the cat. Which isn't so much a self-care thing as a necessity. Then cursed because I'm pretty sure that his new dry food (which he loves) is giving him terrible, terrible gas. At least he will no longer cling to my feet because his food bowl is food.
• Thought about making hot tea, but deemed it too much effort. So I settled on iced instead and then mixed in some Ikea blueberry concentrate. Have you tried this? It's dreamy. I'm pretty sure I've developing an obsession.
• I'm not a fan of breakfast food. And we really are lacking in materials to make much this week. So my breakfast was Disney Frozen pasta with peas and parmesan. And it was really really good.
• Girls. I know not everyone is a fan of this show. None of the characters are truly likable so it's totally understandable. But this season has been on fire. It's about loneliness and growth, evolving friendships and exploring what you really need in a romantic partner. I save its viewing for when the husband is out of town as we have one television and he has no interest, but it's something I don't even care to share with him. I love it wholly and wish I was young enough and brave enough and talented enough to have put together something like Dunham has. 
• The West Wing. I didn't watch The West Wing when it first aired. I was too busy mostly being in college and since it wasn't really papers to write, sorority events to attend, or beers to drink it wasn't really on my radar. But I own all of the seasons onDVD and I've probably watched in its entirety at least twice. But Josh Malina has a new West Wing podcast where he and a buddy recap an episode a week. So yeah, now I must watch an episode a week so I can fully invest in this podcast.
• Quiet. 

So now it's nearly time to decide on what to wear. And battling with my closet is a daily thing in the month of April. I hate it. And then it's time to grab some lunch and head to work. Here's hoping for a few more quiet moments tonight.

List #271: March Things

I used to think that I hated February . With it's dark days, cold nights, saccharine love, and basically all of the excuses in the world to hibernate and be as anti-social as you want. But more recently in my years, I truly don't enjoy March.

With the end of winter and beginning of spring March has the worst qualities of both seasons. It's indecisive and wet. The days are longer, but the temperature rarely treats you with warm evenings. It's too chilly or windy to sit on patios and it's about the time of year where I hate everything in my wardrobe. 

Basically? March sucks. 

But in the end, the month does tend to fly by pretty quickly. And now I can step on into April to enjoy all of its birthdays, sweet nights, and packed weekends. Sure, it will still be rainy and I'll curse my old rain boots every morning. But at least it's still April.

March had 31 days and this is what I did, or didn't do, with them:

• Watched a few hours worth of Practical Jokers (someone might have it on as I type this). 
• Become exasperated with one very needy cat.
• Hook our family on Masha and the Bear. We need more non-Russian seasons! 
• Daydreamed about young Harrison Ford.
• Drank a few tiki drinks.
• Didn't really drink a whole lot of wine.
• Went to bed far too early.
• Stayed up far too late.
• Battled with Gwynnie Bee.
• Spent a little too much on clothes.
• Sold my first few items on eBay.
• Started planning summer reading. 
• Ate too many nachos.
• Failed to sleep in.
• Took are of sick members of this household.
• Hated wearing tights.
• Loved wearing tights.
• Slowly made my way through a book.
• Woke up with nightmares. 
• Wished I was going on vacation.
• Had dinner and drinks with old friends.
• Missed old friends.
• Discussed hot celebrities with an old friend.
• Hid a whole bunch of Easter eggs.
• Ate Satellite wafters.
• Remind my mom that I don't like Neco Wafers (again).
• Cheered on the Penguins.
• Watched a lot less hockey than I would prefer.
• Designed some logos. 
• Cried? Probably.
• Desperately needed to get my hair cut.

I don't know what April is going to bring. But here's hoping I can get my haircut in the next week. 

List #270: Things My Cat May Be Chasing Around the House

By any definition, our house is not huge. But it is big. It is old. And it does have tons of nooks and crannies. The basement is a hodgepodge of rooms and is basically filled with (still) unpacked boxes, furniture we aren't using, and toys that a certain little boy has outgrown.

I make note of all these little details becuase when we moved into this house, the cat got weird. Fast.

He'll spend all evening in the basement, sometimes just sitting the third stair from the bottom, and then cry like crazy when we decide to head upstairs to bed.

He has poked a few holes in our screens and knocked over a few plants, cups, whatever else just happens to be in his way.

But more than anything, oh can the cat run in this house.

He often chooses to run and run and run and run when I'm home alone and basically my imagination runs wild (all thanks to the scars of finding a mice in my laundry in college. and one dead mouse in our house in early fall of this year). I made the husband put out mouse traps and with the exception of that one we haven't seen any evidence of mice in the house at all.

But still.

Here are the things I think the cat is chasing at any given time:

• Stink bugs
• Spiders
• This green stress ball we grabbed for free at the Home & Garden Show and that he's inexplicably obsessed with
• Matchbox cars
• Flies
• Mice
• Rubber bouncing balls
• Lids to things. 
• Plastic toy rings
• Beads
• The green sticks that go inside your Starbucks cup
• Pens
• Pencils

I'm heading to bed in a few minutes and he'll surely drive me bonkers with all of this chasing for at least another forty-five. Before he's up tomorrow at dawn with the birds. Which he seems to forget every day are on the outside of the house and no amount of force is going to will them inside. 

List #269: In a Year

When it's been almost a year since you wrote something for the internet to read. Or, more accurately, when it's been almost a year since you've written anything for anyone that doesn't frequent your library to read it can be a little intimidating to get back on track.

It wasn't that I didn't think about writing in the last 11 months. It's actually quite the opposite. I've thought about it a lot. Sat down on the couch with the laptop and thought up a hundred different things to say. But every single time I would think, "Who really wants to read that?" or even more frequently, "Why do you think you have the authority to write about that?"

And as I sit here writing something tonight, I'm not quite sure I have the answers to those questions. Those fears still haunt me.

My life is completely different than what it was when I first started this writing journey that I was having a hard time coming to grips with it all and still feeling like I had something to say.

But whatever. I'm still not sure I do have something to say. And daily life in this house is nothing short of hectic without much of a predictable schedule. Both of those things are challenges when I'm trying write.

But just like the 10 year-old me who sat up in her bedroom and filled wide-ruled notebooks with stories and notes, the 34 year-old me still needs to write. So here goes nothing.

Here's your crash course in what's been happening since we last met:

• We bought a house.
• My new communte is just minutes away from my library.
• I can go home for lunch every day that it's possible.
• That baby in my life turned into a preschooler.
• The boyfriend became my fiancé.   
• The fiancé became my husband.
• We went to the beach.
• We traveled to California.
• We joined some wine clubs.
• We drank a lot of wine.
• Family moved away.
• Friends moved away.
• We went to the beach again.
• Friends had babies.
• Medical things happened. 
• And then medical things happened again.
• I went to New York.
• I saw a taping of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
• I discovered that I really like dry wines.
• I loved being an unexpected mother.
• I struggled with being and unexpected mother.
• I still hate the word "step-parent."
• I wore a lot of dresses.
• And I wore jeans just once.
• We had parties at our new house.
• We still didn't get the hole in the ceiling of the spare room fixed.
• I raked a lot of leaves.
• We discovered a dead mouse in the house.
• I got caught in the rain.
• I tricked myself into stop biting my nails.
• All in all, it's been pretty quite.

And that, is why you leave for 11 months and how you feel like you've got a lot to say. 

List #268: Our House is a Very Fine House

It's been a  busy spring around here. A lot of birthdays to celebrate, occasions to attend, work has stepped into high gear, and we bought a house.

This our home now. Tucked behind some great, big evergreens and a backyard with enough room to play. A porch to read and grill on, and big windows to watch the rain. 

Before we got the keys in hand, our house really only owned by one family for over 50 years. Built in the 1930s, with a few additions along the way, it's where we are now chasing a toddler around and spending (not-so) lazy mornings together. It needs some tender love and care, obviously. Her bones are solid but old.

But you could say we are a bit in love. 

Here's what's been happening in the first few weeks of living here:

• We lost a cat.
• Then found a cat.
• Two refrigerators have been installed.
• Bamboo has started to really take root.
• Patio furniture was built. 
• An umbrella was assembled.
• Hot dogs have been grilled.
• Balls have been tossed over the porch.
• And fetched.
• Holidays have been celebrated
• Birthday gifts exchanged.
• A dining room set was inherited.
• Floors have been scrubbed.
• Walks have been taken.
• Walls painted.
• Beds have been broken in.
• Cable has been cut.
• Lots of Gordon Ramsey has been watched.
• Books are being read.
• Laundry (in a new machine) washed.
• Early bedtimes continue.

Just in case you were wondering what was happening over here. This is pretty much it. 

List #267: Reaons I Dislike April

There are a lot of good things that happen in April. Mostly some of the people I love the most were born this month. And I always enjoy celebrating the birthdays of loved ones. But I'm coming clean with a dirty little secret, I hate April. In fact, it might just be my least favorite month. 

April is the worst, here's why.

• April Showers. 
• Trying to remember to pack an umbrella nearly every day of the week.
• Always feeling sticky and damp.
• There are no good hair days in April.
• Long days and long nights filled with a lot of responsibility. 
• Never feeling comfortable after shedding winter layers.
• Not having the money to spend on an entire new wardrobe.
• No big trips happen in April.
• Sinuses. 
• Allergies.
• Cats going bonkers at nesting mourning doves outside bedroom and office windows.
• Breaking in flats.
• Blisters.
• Growing tired of hot drinks in the morning.
• Cold mornings that still require hot drinks.

Perhaps I'm just being a curmudgeon. But I'm going on record; spring is my least favorite season. It's moody and unpredictable. I'm over you April, I want the May flowers.

List #266: Things I Think About Before Getting up on an Early April Morning

I tend to wake up before my alarm goes off in the morning. And since I am the first one in our household to rise and take a shower and since the boyfriend works from home and since we typically go to bed at the same time, it's really one of the only parts of the day where I am alone with my thoughts. You can get a lot of thinking done between hitting the snooze bar a few times and stepping out of the shower.

• What day is it today?
• Why in the world does the cat take up more of the bed every single day.
• Oh, the toddler is the cutest (on those mornings he manages to make his way into our bed for extended sleep)
• Don't forget to do work-related things x, y and z. 
• What should I bring for lunch today.
• You know, if you got up just a smidgen earlier you could get a workout in.
• I really hope the cat doesn't wake up the toddler.
• You know, if you got up just a smidgen earlier you could read a chapter of your book.
• Ugh. I don't want to wear what I ironed last night.
• Do you think I could get on Jeopardy!
• Oh, the yinzers that call in to morning radio shows are special.
• Why aren't I on an honest-to-goodness spring break?
• "Unbreakable! They alive, damn it!"
• Assorted Taylor Swift lyrics.
• There are so many things to get done.
• Our house is entirely too cluttered.
• I really want to get back to crafting more.
• How many weeks until a vacation is near?
• I want to go on a shopping spree.
• Listen to the quiet.
• What was the boyfriend mumbling in his sleep? I want to tell him when he wakes up.
• Should I shave my legs today?
• I wonder what we'll get into this weekend.
• I wish I could go hang out with my Mom today.
• I should email X today.
• I should text X today.
• When is the boyfriend traveling again?
• I really should write more letters.
• Oh, I think I hear the toddler starting to wake up.
• I better hurry up.
• Ugh, why does the cat need to be petted as soon as I get out of the shower.
• Today better be a good day.

I'm really all over the place in the morning. It's the hardest time of day for me and just recently have I started to feel that we're really acing mornings...relatively speaking. Now that the toddler is getting older and doesn't full on meltdown when one of us leaves the room, it's not as stressful as it once was. But even getting up as early as I do has been an adjustment for this night owl. I don't know if I'll ever not be a whirl of emotion and though in the morning, but just having this little bit of time in-between the alarms and turning off the shower helps my mind rest, just a tiny tiny bit.

What about you, dear readers? What runs through your mind in the morning. 

List #265: Val the Writer

For the past few years, the one and only amazing Pittsburgh Blogger Alex from Everybody Loves You...has rallied the troops to put together one big blog swap. Just in time for April Fools Shenanigans. And this year's blog swap is bigger and better than ever! 40 bloggers are swapping their regular writing haunts and venturing over to different lands today for some fun. I'm writing over on Everybody Loves You...about what kind of fun you get into when you share custody of a toddler. And fittingly, the talented Val of Small Town Dad is writing about working from home as the guest post on Librarian's Lists & Letters.

Meet Small Town Dad from Beaver, PA

Val is a freelance writer who works from home. He's a super dad of two adorable children who loves his town, his typewriters, and his books. So you know, he's write up a librarian's alley. I'm in awe of how well can balance his life because mine feels like I'm jumping from one muddy puddle to the next.

Working From Home—A Love/Hate Relationship

I’ve had 15 jobs since graduating from college back in 1997. (That’s right, 15.) They told me you could do anything with an English major. And, boy, they weren’t kidding.

From hocking storm doors for a big-box retailer, to bussing tables for a flair-flaunting restaurant chain, to shipping truckloads of fireproof brick cross-country to line the interior of industrial cement kilns (I’m not kidding), I’ve done just about everything. And hated every single minute of it.

Through it all I’ve always maintained two goals that I wanted to reach before turning 40:

1. Make a million dollars
2. Work for myself

Since I’m sitting here writing this blog post and not off drinking margaritas on some secluded tropical island, you can probably guess I fell a little short of Goal No. 1. I did, however, achieve Goal No. 2 last June, when I set out on my own to become a stay-at-home-dad/freelance writer. And, I am happy to say, so far things are going rather well.

I haven’t lost my house yet.

Working from home is awesome! Sometimes. Other times, not so much. That said, the following lists detail some of the best and worst things about being a solo-preneur. Enjoy!

10 Things I Love About Working For Myself

• The coffee is always perfect (because I make it).
• Showering is optional.
• Afternoon naps are mandatory.
• I get to hear things like my son singing “Uptown Funk” while going #2 (true story).
• No emergency meetings (or any kind of meeting, for that matter).
• Four-hour workday (if that).
• Working (ahem) while watching “American Pickers”.
• No fear of the dreaded boss “pop-in”.
• Daily afternoon walk break to pick up my daughter from school.
• A 30-second commute.

10 Things I Hate About Working For Myself

• Distractions abound (my kids, the dishes, my kids, the laundry, my kids, etc.).
• There’s never any leftover office birthday cake.
• I have to actually pay for my own office supplies.
• The constant fear of a Nerf gun sneak attack.
• No Christmas bonus.
• The lack of water-cooler gossip.
• You only get paid if you actually work.
• I am my own I.T. Department.
• Custodial, too.
• Quite honestly, the benefits stink.

If you're interested in exploring the other 40! blogs you can can find them all linked below. It might take you more than just a lunch hour to read them all, but hopefully you'll discover something new! Many thanks again to Alex for putting this all together. Happy April Fool's Day!

The AP Collection

Lucy Quin

A Body of One's Own

Oh Honestly, Erin

Ya Jagoff

My Blog n'at

Josh’s World

Pennies, Pints, Pittsburgh

Beezus Kiddo

The Wheezy Runner

Lunges, Long Runs and Lattes

Sole for the Soul

Gardening in High Heels

The Fashionable Eye

The Steel Trap

30-Something therapy

Pittsburgh Happy Hour

Pittsburgh is Beautiful

Downtown Living

Crank Crank Revolution

Sean’s Ramblings

jelly jars

In Pursuit of Happiness

Red Pen Mama

Orange Chair Blog

Last Minute Panic

Emily Levenson

The Pittsburgh Mommy Blog

Pittsburgh Taste Buds

Don’t Forget to Eat

101 Achievements

Nicky D. Cooks

In Pursuit of Simple

The Almond Eater

Parmesan Princess

Yum Yum PGH

The Foodtasters

Small Town Dad

A Librarian’s Lists and Letters

everybody loves you…

List #264: The (Not So) GreatThings About Being in a Relationship

The boyfriend and I will be together two years come June. We've been living together for well over a year now. And we do raise a toddler together. Its safe to say we know each other pretty well. Love and quirks and everything in-between.

He's my love. And he really truly is a saint. He puts up with my weird neuroses, my desire to just pinch him at any given time, and my inability to sleep with even the tiniest bit of light shining. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not entirely grateful that our roads in life led us to meet nearly two years ago.

But all that being said, oh there are some tough times when you're in a serious relationship.

Here are mine:

• Sharing a bed when all you really want to do is starfish wide in the middle.
• Giving up and letting someone watch a movie that you came into in the middle.
• Listening to someone chew. Loudly.
• Seeing tissues that don't it to the garbage can.
• Ignoring mugs of tea that pile up on tables and desks.
• Getting up extra early so your loved one can take the later shower.
• Sharing a bathroom.
• Trying to fall asleep when someone has a light on in the room.
• Adjusting thermostats for different body temperatures.
• Meeting in the middle of Night Owl and Early Bird.
• Understanding that you're the only one who will clean the litter box (the cat came with me).
• Growing piles of laundry.
• Conceding music selections.
• Losing closet space and numbers of drawers to store all your regular amounts of stuff.
• Sifting through more mail than you ever thought possible.
• Having far less time to watch mindless television because you can't make your significant other watch hours of Teen Mom. 

Now for every one of the bullets on this list, it's more than likely that the boyfriend could match (or agree with) one for me. Seriously I am no picnic and I'm well aware.

But the little things are there. They are leftover crumbs from previous relationships, personal sensitivities, or just things you didn't really think about when you copied keys and unboxed your life in someone else's. It's just what happens when you're living with someone you love. 

I do plan on writing the (truly) great things about being in a relationship. And yes, the list will genuinely longer. But it's Monday and Mondays are for griping. Please feel free to share your own relationship gripes in the comments. 

List #262: A Weekend in New York City

I'my very fortunate to have a bunch of vacations days that need to be used. I'm also very fortunate to have a best friend that lives in Manhattan and is willing to put up with my in her apartment for a few days. So mix those things together, plus a tax refund, and it was easy to see that I'd usher in spring with a weekend getaway.

It was a wonderful weekend that was more heavy on the friendship than it was on sightseeing and traipsing around different neighborhoods and boros. And quite honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I don't get as much girl time as I used to these days. And my friend in NYC is one of my oldest and best.

So here's to air mattresses, beer mugs and subway rides. A list of things you do in NYC with one best friend and a limited budget. Oh, and a snowstorm that laid inches in the city in just a few hours.

• Rolling a blue suitcase straight into Hooters. 
• Basketball. Lots of basketball.
• New Girl best-of viewings.
• Unbreakable! They're alive, damn it! It's a miracle!
• Browsing history through museums.
• Being completely confused by more modern museums.
• Starbucks. 
• Pizza.
• Sleeping in.
• Brunch.
• Encouraging the youth of America.
• Being on the the market for a lamp.
• So many Greek dips.
• Souvlaki.
• Retsina.
• Greek music.
• Eurovision.
• Window shopping.
• Manicures.
• Flirting with bartenders.
• Eyeing up waiters.
• Overhearing sidewalk conversations.
• Hipster bars.
• Will Forte's long-lost son.
• Sliding on snowy sidewalks.
• Shake Shack.

This is probably the prettiest photo I've ever taken. 

I have been spending a lot of nights alone the last few weeks, so getting some stress-free time away with one of the people I love the most was just what I needed. Now, I wish the feeling would have lasted a little while longer for both her and me, but oh well...we've already started planning a trip for our 35th birthday. 

List #261: When the Boys Are Away

It's been a rough two months at my house. The boyfriend has been traveling a lot for work and this week he began what is nearly a two week stint away from the homestead. In fact, because I'm taking a little mini-break and heading out of town to see a best friend, the boyfriend and I will see each other for less than 24 hours in the course of then next 10 days. Plus, when the boyfriend is traveling I don't actually get to the little guy either. It's not an ideal situation.

But! There is a silver lining. Most importantly I'll get to take a mental break from work and life and visit with one of my best friends for a long weekend. We have plans for Greek food and 90s dance parties. Basically all of that is awesome.

And even though the house is quiet and a little lonely, it some ways it's refreshing to have a few nights by myself.

With the boys gone, here is how I spend my evenings.

• Doing laundry. And since our washer is actually broken, I have to set a timer to manually change each setting.
• Eating tacos on the couch.
• Loading and unloading the dishwasher.
• Procrastinating packing.
• Watching back-to-back episodes of Hindsight. Seriously, watch this show.
• Reading long books.
• Letting candles burn for too long.
• Falling asleep on the couch.
• Talking on the phone to my mom.
• Folding laundry.
• Watching too much HGTV. 
• Playing too many games on my phone.
• Dealing with a needy cat who sits on me way too much.

So yeah, super exciting stuff going on here. But really, I'll be away soon. Drinking a few more drinks than one should and riding subways all day long. One should always vacation in March. 

List #260: Things I Should Win an Oscar For

When I was in high school I dreamed of growing up and winning an Academy Award. I had grand ideas of my life somehow ending up in Los Angeles, wearing gorgeous designer dresses on red carpets, and giving the most perfect off-the-cuff winners speech. I would have held that gold statue high up in the air, showing off my sculpted arms, and have diamonds dripping from my ears and fingers.

Yeah. None that happened. The idea of living in Los Angeles actually sounds terrifying. I haven't acted in anything since I played the Mad Hatter in a sorority skit. And I actually really don't even like diamonds.

So since I have no chance of winning an actual Oscar, here's what I think the Academy should honor me for. You know, just in case they start giving out awards to ordinary people who blog from their couch in Pittsburgh.

I should at least be nominated for the following bests:

• Wearing of multiple tights when it's 0 degrees outside.
• Doing your own hair and make up in a house with one bathroom and one roaming and feisty toddler.
• Online shopper.
• Ability to get salt marks all over ones shoes and tights.
• Showering in the dark.
• Recommending books you haven't heard about yet.
• Not watching movies.
• Disliking James Patterson.
• Forgetting where you put your glasses.
• Forgetting where you put your keys.
• Forgetting where you left your phone.
• Playing games on your phone and then getting bored with them after two weeks.
• Thinking chipped ham really is the best lunch meat.
• Loving peppermint tea.
• Falling asleep with a heating pad.
• Having a crush on Captain America, the character.
• Being so very much like Leslie Knope.
• Daydreaming.
• Drinking water out of Tervis mugs.
• Snacking on sweet tarts.
• Taking an extraordinarily long time to knit a scarf for oneself.
• Watching every episode of Parks and Recreation at least 5 times at this point.

What about your awards, dear readers? Let me know what you'd likely win for! 

List #259: Where I Was While I Was Away

I know. It's been a long while since I last blogged. In the last year and a half so many things in my life have morphed and changed that often I don't quite know what to share and how to share it. It's why you haven't heard too much about my life, the Boyfriend, and the (now) Toddler. It's all a balancing game of how much is too much and what's appropriate and what I'm comfortable with. And sometimes, I really just don't know how I feel on any given day.

But I'm ready to get my blogging game back on track. I've been journaling a little since I've been gone and I've learned one thing about myself:  I am my better self when I'm writing my thoughts. And I think sometimes I'm even better when I'm sharing them.

So to start off, I'll catch you up on where I've been while I was away:

• Oakland
• Downtown
• My library
• Other libraries
• Sitting on the right side of a bus
• Sitting on the left side of a bus
• Walking through Schenley Park
• Carnegie Museum of Pittsburgh
• Phipps Conservatory
• Charleston, WV
• On the side of the highway in WV for 3 hours
• Sunset Beach, NC
• Eating Thanksgiving dinner on a beach
• Reading on a porch
• Watching television on the couch
• Sitting on the floor playing with a Toddler
• My family's house
• His family's house
• Extended families' houses
• Putting up and taking down Christmas lights
• Under lots of blankets
• Sitting in a movie theater
• Restaurants. Restaurants. Restaurants. 
• Laughing with friends at parties
• Target.
• Lowe's
• Giant Eagle
• In bed dreaming 
• In bed having nightmares
• Sitting in my new desk chair
• The Benedum Center 
• The Strip District
• The North Shore
• Casinos
• A wedding
• A bridal shower
• Not Pawnee, Indiana

So dear readers, where have you been lately? 

List #258: Don't Ever Say This to a Woman

Twice in the past week I have found myself in situations where someone who doesn't know me (or only knew me as a teenager with pimples and a bad sense of style) has asked some very personal questions without much basic tact. Both times it left me confused and baffled. And both times I felt that the way I did answer their questions were not the best way I could have answered.

And sadly, because I'm a woman. And because I made some choices in my life that probably confused a lot of people. And because I didn't get married before I was 28. And because I have a career in a field that some people feel is outdated. And because I lived abroad. And because I had a few failed relationships. And because of so so many other things. This wasn't the first time I had to hold my feelings inside in order to come off pleasant and polite so as not to offend someone.

I just wish people would use a little more common sense. Don't ask questions you wouldn't want someone asking you. And be mindful not just words, but how they are worded, when they are said, and where they are said can make all of the difference. Sometimes it's not a matter of what you're asking but more how you say it and what kind of answer you're expecting. Words have power. Be aware of that power.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I'm sure I've hurt others' feelings by how, what, where, and when I chose to speak certain words. But honestly, I do try to be mindful of people's situations. And working with the public does give me a good sense of how many walks were are all taking in life. But still, just because I feel like maybe some us need a lesson on what not to ask or say, I'll leave a few examples here.

• When are you going to get married?
• Why don't you have a boyfriend?
• When you stop looking, it will happen.
• Oh, you don't want to be in a relationship.
• Why don't you want kids?
• When are you going to have kids?
• You'll feel differently once you're married.
• Why don't you have children?
• Have you tried Match.com?
• Why would you want to go back to school?
• Oh, I don't believe in taking out loans for school.
• You pay how much in rent?
• You should really just buy a house instead of rent.
• Why does your child have different colored eyes than you?
• Your child looks nothing like you or your partner.
• Oh, did you adopt?
• You won't understand until you have children.
• Oh, be glad you don't have kids.
• You couldn't possibly understand unless you're a mom.
• Did you guys have in vitro?
• Did you use a surrogate?
• You won't understand what it's like to be tired until you have a baby.
• I'm just busier than you are.
• Why don't you breastfeed?
• Why do you use formula?
• Oh, did you sleep with the mailman?
• When are you guys going to have another baby?
• When are you going to get engaged?
• Why did you want to get into that career?
• Oh, it's not like you work or anything.
• It's hard to understand unless you're in a relationship.
• Why did you get divorced?
• Why did your partner get divorced?
• Are you pregnant?

There are probably way more, I'm sure. So if you have one, please feel free to share it here. And remember, just take a second to listen to what you're going to say, and how you're going to say it, before you let the words slip out of your mouth.

Be kind, friends.

List #257: 33 Things at 33

On this day in 1981, I was born. I'm the oldest of three three children and the only girl in my immediate family. I always loved that my birthday was in September. I was usually one of the first people to celebrate a birthday in the school year, my birthday was never one of those forgotten summer days, and the weather was always perfect for an outdoor party in my parents' backyard.

And this year, on one very hot and not-so-seasonal September Sunday, my birthday was just as nice. Filled with lots of love from my two favorite boys, lots of laughter, and dinner with family. And the day ended with some quiet time, the How I Met Your Mother boxed set, peppermint tea, and blankets.  Even if I did cry in the middle of it all, the day was nothing short of all the things I enjoy the most:  great stories from good friends, peels of laughter from a toddler, kisses from a boyfriend, and a home-cooked meal and conversations with my family. 

Here's what I was thinking as 365 days passed:

• Even if the mother dies, I want Ted Mosby to find happiness.
• This house is a horrible mess.
• When can I eat tacos?
• Giggly babies are the best babies.
• Oh wow, everyone is having more babies.
• Why does my boyfriend's nose sound like a foghorn?
• How soon can I go visit friends in far away cities?
• Oh goodness, Cat! Leave me alone!
• I really like making out.
• I wonder how early the baby will wake up in the morning.
• This book really isn't so great.
• I've been underrating a beach vacation for years.
• I have nothing to wear in this closet.
• Sometimes, I just don't want to hear your voice.
• This man is the best man.
• How many times is too much to listen to one song in a row?
• Chris Pratt. Tom Hiddleston. Chris Pratt. Adam Levine. Chris Pratt.
• I'm so very lucky to have met someone who actually likes to cook.
• What should I order at Starbucks today?
• Asking if I (or anyone else) had in vitro, adopted, or used a surrogate is not okay.
• My fantasy football team is crap.
• I don't think I care about the Steelers anymore.
• When can I watch the Pens play?
• Please don't watch porn in public.
• Oh, pretty and expensive houses!
• Why am I crying?
• Why is 90s fashion a thing in 2014? 
• I miss my friends.
• I miss my family.
• I should probably make those doctor's appointments.
• Which book should I read at storytime?
• Am I getting old?
• Somewhere along the way, I stumbled upon a life that manages to include a whole lot of funny and a whole lot of love.

Really truly, it's been a lucky and wonderful year. I'm hoping for some adventure, love, luck, health, and a few good travels in the year ahead. Here's to all of those things and more.

List #256: The Time I Was in a Zine

There are some really fantastic bloggers in Pittsburgh. People who are writing with way more frequency than me about everything from awesome places to eat in this city, making art, crafting the mixed tape, living downtown, baking, going to school, finding love, loving pets, being a parent, and so very much more.  And a few months ago, one of them got an awesome idea to put our online writing onto good ol' fashioned ink and paper.

I'm proud to be part of this finished product and really hope that if you live in Pittsburgh, you'll find a copy. Right now you can grab a copy at one of these fine places:

• South Hills Power Yoga
• East End Book Exchange
• Caliban Book Shop
• CW Press
• Copacetic Comics Company

With a few more places rolling out as the week progresses:

• Carnegie Coffee Company
• ToonSeum
• Artisan Tattoo
• Crazy Mocha
• Espresso A Mano
• Pavement
• Roundabout Brewery
• Wildcard
• Crazy Mocha
• Wigle Whiskey

If you do find a copy, take a photo and tag @brassy_librarian in Instagram. I'll send you you're very own personalized book recommendations. And maybe the first person to tag me will get an extra special something too!

More than anything though, please go read the other (and much more impressive) blogs involved. Give a big thanks to Alex at Everybody Loves You for this really was his brainchild and work of love. He's just that awesome.

And here's your bibliography of links:

Downtown Living

Jelly Jars

Oh Honestly, Erin

The Steel Trap

Thanks for reading!

List #255: Thing I Think About While Watching Sunday Night Football

Like most of America, I'm having a hard time with the NFL right now. And yes, because of some very specific instances that have occurred in the past few weeks, our patience with football is wearing thing. But really, we've been on the appalled by some of their behavior for awhile now.  Even my beloved Steelers have tarnished the black and gold in ways that I can't really reconcile with my fandom. The NFL is making us mad, sad, disappointed, and disgusted. 

But still, I am sitting on the couch on a Sunday night watching my team. I won't pretend to have the answers to fix the behavior of the NFL and its players. But I will admit that I'm one of those fans who is disgusted, but still playing Fantasy Football and watching (at least some of) the Steelers games each week.

A lot of things run through my mind as I watch Sunday Night Football in 2014:

• I have no desire to pay to see a Steelers game this year.
• I would not turn down free tickets, however.
• I really think the Steelers need new coaches.
• I'm still very thankful that my team doesn't mess with that Cheerleader nonsense.
• The Sunday New York Times is entirely too much paper to read in one day.
• Pretty sure Gatorade is my new favorite drink.
• Ironing clothes for work the night before is both the best and worst thing.
• 9:00 pm is far too late in the day to be wearing a bra.
• I will not be getting the new iPhone.
• Fall breezes at night are the best.
• I really need to get a fall candle to burn.
• I spent many many hours of this weekend listening to back episodes of My Brother, My Brother and & Me. 
• It's possible my entire Fantasy teams will suck all season long.
• Is there anyone in America that enjoys listening to Cris Collinsworth on Sunday evenings?
• I am far too old and tired to stay up for an entire Sunday Night Football game anymore.

And with that, let's hope the Steelers can win.