List #219: What I Did This June

I did a lot of things in June 2013, but blogging was not one of them. I'd say that I'm sorry but that's not really true. I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to find the time to write, even just once a week. But I've been having a lot of fun and because the computer I'm using is a loaned and old white Macbook, I feel less inclined to open it up and pour out the words some evenings.

So instead of writing, here's a little bit of what I've been doing this June:

• Reading books.
• Sending a lot of emails.
• Holding hands.
• Talking about Web Rings.
• Playing with babies.
• Spending mornings wrapped up in bliss.
• Eating breakfast on occasion.
• Laughing at long streams of text messages from college roommates.
• Raising the Jolly Roger.
• Hanging pictures.
• Rewatching Parks and Recreation.
• Kissing.
• Moving beds.
• Wearing a goofy grin on my face.
• Renting dresses. 
• Being sappier than I ever thought possible.
• Summer Reading.
• Drinking beer.
• Eating Chinese food.
• Telling dorky jokes. 
• Feeling all of the feelings.
• Walking for Melanoma.
• Celebrating graduations. 
• Loving the fountain. 
• Exploring the city.
• Being hot.
• Spending time with family.
• Watching Friends late at night.
• Feeling lucky. In more ways than one.

Whatever it has been keeping you busy in the start of summer, I hope it's been as much fun as mine. Leave your list in the comments, dear readers.

List #218: This is Bliss

Bliss is

• The first seasonal corn-on-the-cob dabbed with just a little bit of butter.
•  Laying in bed listening to a summer storm.
• A cat who comes to snuggle right by your side.
• Waking up in the morning and realizing you can sleep in just a tiny bit more.
• Wearing a new dress for a special occasion.
• Exploring.
• A warm bath filled to the brim with bubbles.
• The beginning of a good book.
• Laughing with a friend even she's hundreds of miles away.
• Nachos or Funnel Cake. Or really whatever your guilty snack food of choice may be.
• The first few moments of vacation.
• Getting real mail.
• Fresh cut flowers decorating your table.
• Newly painted toenails after a pedicure.
• Getting to know someone new.
• Making someone laugh. 
• The second kiss.
• The perfect hair day and somewhere to show it off.
• Cold sheets on a hot night.
• Treating yourself to tea at the start of a busy morning.

What, dear readers, do you consider your own slices of bliss? Share in the comments.

List #217: Songs of Summer

Every summer needs a few good songs. Songs that go perfectly with sunglasses and iced tea. Songs that make you want to stay up late and get a hickey like you did in high school. And songs that make you want to dance until the sweat is dripping down your back.

In my opinion, the best summer jam list is a conglomeration of past and present. It might, for instance, look a little like this.

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince ~ Summertime

I think this was the first summer song that I remember hearing. The one that actually made me realize that summer might be more than just catching fireflies in my backyard. 

Ricky Martin ~ Living La Vida Loca

This song was huge the summer before I left college. When I listen to it today it reminds me of what was probably my most carefree summer and all of the hope one feels as they stand on that edge.

Katy Perry ~ Teenage Dream

I don't even remember the specific year this song was released. But I think it's impossible not to want to wear skimpy clothing and eat ice cream with a boy when you hear it.

Len ~ Steal My Sunshine

I did a quick Twitter survey for favorite summer songs. This one received multiple votes. I think it was made for the beach. 

LFO ~ Summer Girls

Fun Fact:  I first heard this song while sunbathing in Ocean City, Maryland when I was on my senior trip. My girlfriends and I were listening to a boom box, I was still skinny enough to wear a bikini, and I didn't worry about sun damage or skin cancer. And any song that references Alex P. Keaton wins.

Carly Rae Jepsen ~ Call Me Maybe

In 2012 this song became a summer song for the decades. It's a song we'll be reminiscing to our children about when we're old and listening to the radio on the porch. 

Nelly ~ Hot in Herre

This song was popular in the summer, right? Either way, it reminds me of barely being able to drink and sweating on dance floors in skirts.

 Robin Thicke Featuring Pharrell & T.I. ~ Blurred Lines

If you've been near me in the last three weeks you've heard me talk about how I think this is the sexiest song I've heard in 2013. This is my official summer song. Catchy, steamy, and naughty. Don't worry, this video is the one featuring less naked.

So dear readers, I'm sure I missed quite a few of your favorite summer songs. Why don't you go ahead and leave your pick in the comments.  I'd love to listen.

 

List #217: Change in a Decade

Ten Years Ago I...

• Had just graduated from college and had moved back in to my parents house.
• Was confused and lost and didn't even know it.
• Used both a landline and a cell phone.
• Had dial-up Internet.
• Didn't know that you needed an MLIS/MLS to become a librarian.
• Wasn't even aware that librarian was a vibrant career option.
• Thought that I might want to go to graduate school for an MFA.
• Talked on the phone each nigh to a boy that I missed but knew I wouldn't marry, even if the story would have been a good one.
• Drank a lot of cheap beer.
• Wanted to move to another country, but had no idea how.
• Had no idea that in another year, I would move to another country.
• Possessed a never-been-broken heart.
• Had never attended a hockey game.
• Was logged into AOL Instant Messenger.
• Didn't know the thrill of kissing up against a door way. 
• Wasn't sure the Steelers would ever win a Super Bowl in my lifetime.
• Had yet to vote for a winning President.
• Was cautious, but not scared. 
• Wanted to adopt a kitten.
• Thought that I was fat.
• Purchased books at a book store.
• Owned a desktop computer.
• Worked out a gym.
• Didn't straighten my hair.
• Owned only a few dresses.
•  Was absolutely clueless.

I'm heading to my college 10-year reunion this weekend. And though many poo-poo the idea of reunions, my Alma Mater knows how to do it up right. A benefit, in my opinion, from having graduated from a very small liberal arts college that fosters a community of dedicated adults. I'm mostly really excited. I'm looking forward to seeing familiar faces and meeting new people I didn't know very well back then.

But one tiny part of me is a little nervous. Scared that in the next ten years I won't get to accomplish what I desire most in my heart. I'm fretting not for the reunion weekend, but for what comes after. Because if there is one thing I've learned in a decade, it's that you really have no idea what is going to be throw in your direction.

It is enough to make me gasp for air.

So, dear readers, just like you'd dish out advice on recent graduates. Let's share our own advice for the next ten years here.

List #216: Let's Talk About Summer

It's a little hard for me to believe that it's actually the beginning of summer. Maybe because the nights have been dipping down into the 30s here in Pittsburgh. Maybe because I don't have any summer vacation plans. And maybe because summer at the library won't start for a few more weeks. But it's coming, quickly. And I am going to be prepared.

And of course, being a goal-oriented woman, I've got some ideas of what should happen:

• Ask the guy who owns a local shop out for coffee or drinks. 
• Dance to this song a lot.

 

This is currently my summer theme song.

•  Enjoy brunch club hijinks at least three times.
• Spend a few Sunday afternoons at Raccoon Lake with my mom.
• Learn how to make a fancy cocktail.
• Have drinks with new friends.
• Apply for something that will help me grow as a librarian.
• Ride my bike along the river.
• Date. 
• Attend an outdoor concert.
• Read books. Lots of books.
• Cheer at baseball games.
• Eat breakfast with old friends.
• Make out on a hot night to this song. 

This video is extremely NSFW. 

•  Decorate my bedroom.
• Paint my fingernails more often.
• Have a girlfriend over for a girls night of wine, movies, and girl talk. 
• Get my hair cut. Well, trimmed.
• Write more.
• Find the bold. 

So what about you dear readers, what kind of things would you like to see take shape this summer?  Maybe our lists will merge.

List #215: Things That Happened This Week

Yesterday I was talking to a friend before the Penguins game and I couldn't remember what I had done on Wednesday night. I'm 31. I thought I was safe from this sort of mind blank for a good 20 years or so. I remembered, eventually. And blamed the crummy mood I was in on Wednesday for my lack of memory. But when you really do stop and think about it, it's amazing what one person can cram into 7 days. Less even, considering today is still young and tomorrow hasn't even happened.

• Coordinated a bunch of work events. Most of them keeping me out of the library for the majority of next week. 
• Impromptu drinks with one of my closest friends. 
• A pitcher of Blue Moon. In a bar that will always remind me of graduate school.
• Registered for my college reunion. And debated the merits of the major bars in that town. 
• Cheered for Jalepeno Hannah. 
• Smuggled Chipotle burritos into PNC Park.
• Watched a whole bunch of season finales. And one series finale.
• Saw Sidney Crosby get his second playoff hat trick. 
• Watched another Penguins game in a bar.
• Had my eyes examined.
• Got fitted for new glasses. 
• Struggled with my current state of being.
• Took neighborhood walks. 
• Ate lunch with a cousin. 
• Decided to give online dating another go.
• Got some very disappointing news.
• RSVP'd to a baby shower.
• Threw away two bouquets of flowers.
• Was not shocked in the least when the guy staring me up and down at Einstein bagels was wearing a wedding ring.
• Battled a tension headache for 2.5 days.
• Drank a lot of fountain Coke (with lemon). 
• Finished reading my 20th book of the year.
• Practiced patience. Yet again.
• Cried. Whether it was over the previously mentioned disappointment or The Office finale, is undisclosed. (It was both.) 
• Wondered why the cold water in my apartment unexpectedly ran brown for an afternoon.
• And worked my monthly Saturday at the library.

Hope you squeezed in a bunch of fun this week. Or at least, plan on making up for it this weekend, dear readers. 

List #214: Patience and Gratitude

I got some news today that was disappointing. I'm not at liberty to discuss the particulars, but I can tell you that it made me sad. And though you might not know what exactly made me sad, I'm sure you can relate to what happens after you share the news with those who love you.

A lot of platitudes.

Things happen for a reason.
It wasn't meant to be.
Their loss, not yours. 
Something better will come along. 
Be grateful for what you do have. 
Be patient.

But here's the thing. I'm not sure everything does happen for a reason. Logic just doesn't seem to side with this one. And I don't know if I think that every loss is really a gain. And though I would agree that if someone doesn't want me, it is their loss, not mine. It still doesn't mean the rejection doesn't sting.


I'm grateful. Truly grateful for the life I do lead. I recognize that I'm one of they lucky few that has a career that I enjoy. I have my health. I have a roof over my head. I have fantastic friends. I have a supportive family. I even have a friend with season tickets to Penguins games. I'm not foolish enough to dismiss the bounty in my life. I recognize it. I value it. I'm grateful.

And I'm patient. Oh, I'm truly patient. It's a struggle, but I'm still patient. I rarely yell. I don't begrudge others their happiness. I thank the universe for giving me the gifts I have and I try not to ask for too much in return. I wish for each day to be a little brighter than the last. And I can even wait quietly in line and not complain before it's my turn.

Because I have been told since I was a little girl that good things happen to good people. If I work hard enough, I'll be recognized. If I am loyal and kind, people will return with the same. If I love myself enough, someone will love me. If I am smart, my brain will take my places. If I stop looking for love, it will find me. If I put good out in the world, karma will reward me in kind.

But I'm not so sure. Those snippets might just be more platitudes.

I ask myself how much longer do I have to be patient? What, exactly, am I being patient for? Because what if (and this is my deepest fear) this is it. This is as good and as full as my life is going to get. No more improvements, no more promotions, no more love, no more romance. Not everyone can get everything they want, right? What if I'm the person who doesn't get the chances she so very much wants.

I told a coworker today that I want something exciting to happen this summer. I want to be thrilled and I want to thrill. I want to shout about my good news. And I want to toast to good fortune.

But maybe what I'm really hoping for is a sign. A sign that all of this patience I keep getting asked to store up is going to be worth more than the ability to remain calm when Starbucks is busy. 

The news I received today isn't heartbreaking. It isn't devastating. And it's not really even life changing. It was just disappointing. I'll nurse my would for a few days and then life will continue as normal. I'll be okay.

I guess what I'm saying is though, I'm ready for my life to be a little bit more than normal. And I'm certainly ready to be a whole lot more than okay.

I'm ready for my hard work and patience to pay off. I'd even accept an installment plan.