Letter #55: To All of The Single Men

Dear Men Who are Single, 

There are far too many single ladies out there. You need to do something about this.

Correction:  The men who want to find smart kind, compassionate, funny, and determined women need to do something about this.  Those seeking friends with benefits, one-night-stands, relationships without boundaries, and those who don't like to put labels on things are certainly welcome to find what they are looking for. But really, I want to talk to guys who want the kind of women I know.

I know intelligent women. These are women with Masters degrees who put their minds and hearts into their careers. They plan events, talk with bigwigs, write articles for newspapers, run departments, and still find the time to have drinks with friends after work. They visit museums, take in broadway shows, and want to go to an occasional ballet. Intelligent women aren't looking for someone to mirror their own lives, but instead are looking to find someone who will match them in knowledge. They want a partner. They are hoping for someone who pushes them to try new things.

I know women who travel. Yes, it will be pretty easy to find a woman who like sit on the beach a few days a year. But women who travel are a little different. They are the kind who have lived in foreign countries with plumbing systems so ancient flushing toilet paper is forbidden. They are women who can pack more than a week's clothing in one carry one case. They have an abundance of frequent flyer miles and they sometimes know European cities better than their tiny one bedroom apartments. Women who travel want someone who they don't have to pull out of bed for a 5:00 am flight. They're looking for someone who will try new foods and owns a good pair of walking shoes.

I know women who love sports. They aren't afraid to saddle up to the bar and order a beer on a Friday night. They are loyal to only a few select teams. Women who love sports won't turn down tickets to a game and aren't going to shy away from loosing their voice from cheering. They are women who hang more than one jersey in their closet and own more than one or two championship tshirts. Women who love sports are looking for someone who always want to turn on the game, and won't mind if their girlfriend knows a little bit more than they do from time to time.

I know women who know how to love. There are far too many women out there who know how to love but end up with bruised and battered hearts. They've had boyfriends who promise big things and then walk away. They've been forced to move out of shared apartments and split custody with puppies. I know women who have put their heart and soul into a job only to have it fizzle out soon after acquiring it. I know women who have put their lives on hold to support their love through graduate degrees only to have them leave when it's all over. I know women who have pledged vows and kept them, only to have their partner let those vows fall apart. I know women who have multiple online dating accounts and only get messages from men who are shirtless, ask for sex, or can't spell.

So if you're a guy who is also smart, dedicated, compassionate, and enjoyable start paying attention these women. Take the risk and say more than hello to them. She could be on your commute, your elevator, your grocery store, really just about anywhere. Because I know how many good women are out there. I know how many awesome women who will stay way from Facebook on Friday because they don't want to look at endless stream of Valentine's Day bragging. I know how hard it is to think that maybe, you're not going to find what you're looking for.

All the best,

A Lady Who Has Too Much of This In Her History To Forget It

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