Dear Mike Birbiglia,
You are my favorite funniest guy. With a big heart. I knew that I wanted to watch Sleepwalk with Me so very much. But saved it because I don't get your doses of funny too often.Your theory on love is pretty close to my theory on love. And once upon a time I dated a man who had feelings about love that you did. And your ability to settle down and recognize the good when it comes in your life, makes me think that maybe more men are out there like you. Perhaps I have a crush. But also, thank you for being friends with Ira Glass too. Maybe one day we can meet, and you can introduce me to Ira, and then we'll all just be pals together.
Dear Bed with New Sheets,
I think you know there is nothing better than going to sleep on a bed with clean sheets and shaved legs.
Dear Men Who Like Women,
Please be forward with your feelings. Be kind. Don't play games. We'll do the same to you. Remember that what she tells you is the truth. If she likes you, you're going to know that she likes you. Don't play with her heart if you don't like her back. And if you do like her back, don't screw it up. Ask her on a date. Treat her to dinner. And she'll try to do the same for you.
We're doing this. It'll be fun. Just don't kick my ass too hard.
Dear Person I Find Hard to Quit,
I don't really even have very many words. I try very hard to put you in a back corner of my mind. Because you've made it clear that you don't want what I want. Even though I think some part of you wants me. But I've learned that I can't change people's minds. And I was open and honest about what I wanted. And you always seem to jump through hoops. I don't really know what you wanted from an email sent from home. If it was to let me know that sometimes you miss me, I miss you too. If you were lonely at 4 am and wishing you could talk to me, I get that. I've been there too. If it was because you miss some of the things we'd to together, yep. Me too. But when you can't reply back, I'm reminded once again that I don't know what to make of you. And that's just not fair. Because I'm pretty sure I'm a whole lot easier to figure out.
Dear Clothes on my Bedroom Floor,
I'm sorry I don't pick you up. It's been a long week. One of those weeks where picking up clothes from my floor seems like too big of a chore to do. I washed a lot of you, so some of you are in a hamper. The others, I promise, I'll get to this upcoming week. Because this week has got to be a little lighter.