I tend to laugh and giggle a lot when faced with a strange and stressful situation. Some people cry or get angry. I just laugh. So I probably looked like a crack addict, or completely irreverent, to most people in such a situation, but so be it. It's how I handle unanticipated stress.
But when the reality of the situation settles in, it's time to make phone calls. And when you're a single girl, the Call-in-Case-of-an-Emergency-List is distinctly short. I called my boss and my mom. In fact, in that order because I was going to be late for a meeting that I never attended and I didn't want my mom to worry too much.
And it's when you're sitting in an ER talking on gchat, on your dying phone, with a guy that yeah, you're dating. When he has time, and your moods and schedules line up. Who is being sweet but you know full well you're not at that place where you can expect much more than a follow-up text that you just start to feel a bit sorry for yourself.
It's here that I emailed my friend of friends who is married with babies and sent her a photo. And basically had her thinking I was mugged (Note: I was not mugged). And when I'm sitting in an ER room, in the same hospital an ex was once rushed to years ago this same week, I'm a little bit sad that I don't have someone who can snuggle on the couch with me. There was no one who was going to absolutely kiss me just let me be a baby for at least 24 hours.
I'm deeply thankful for my family, and my friends who were worried sick about me last night, and called me three times today. I'm do feel loved all of the time. And blessed that the world has granted me great people in my life.
But eventually, I would like someone to be that Emergency Contact. Requirements should include:
- The willingness to buy me a Shamrock Shake and not judge when bruised me just wants to eat bad for day.
- Completely understand that I'm going to want to stay in pajamas and watch really bad TLC television. It's okay if they protest Hoarders though, that show is too much.
- The desire to send me funny Internet links at least once during the day. Laughter is the best medicine.
- The tone of voice that is helpful, not preachy. I want to hear your advice but I don't want to feel like you're telling me what to do. If I don't want the ice pack, I don't want the ice pack.
- Someone who is going to kiss me as I fall sleep at night. And hold my body close to theirs.
I know that it's not a cool and trendy, single-girl thing to write about. I should be strong and awesome always. But sometimes, I just want the hug and the kiss and the relationship that's reached the reliable and comfortable. Still remaining hopeful that it will, even on the hardest days.