What a treat it was to see you on the last day of the week. A perfect way to start the weekend, in my opinion. As if you were a sign that the universe had some treats in store as we wound down the weekday and smiles would be had. You looked groggy, with thick black glasses on the tip of your nose, your beard in need of a trim. I admire the way you incorporate mountain man with hipster. It's sleek and unassuming, a balance to your head tattoo. Keep up the good work.
Dear Barista at Crazy Mocha (Monday morning, Squirrel Hill),
It looks like you're just trying to start a winter beard. Your stack of Vegetarian cookbooks on your designated table look tasty. I'm sure you're an excellent cook and you are most certainly tall. But you have an air of too-cool hipster about you. I'm sorry to say that my latte-loving heart still loves the man at Starbucks.
You will always be my least favorite holiday. I don't understand why adults need to dress up to go out, I don't like scary things and I can buy my own candy. I'll always wear a cute costume for the library storytime but that's it. No matter what you do, you won't be able to make me like you. Nor will you get me to dress up like as a slutty Tootsie Roll. Until we meet again.
One day soon I'm going to write a book. It's probably not going to be a Young Adult book ala Colin Meloy and I doubt it will become a hipster best-seller. But I'll probably talk about being a single librarian and just maybe you'll buy it at Powell's. And then maybe, just maybe, you could write a song about me? I would be forever grateful.
You are the most magnificent thing about cold weather fashion. You're inexpensive, you keep me warm and you even make a gal feel sexy. Keep up the good work.
Shannon, aka Brassy Librarian