Letter #23: On Dating

Dear Dating,

You're hard. Harder than I remember and more complicated than I ever expected. And quite frankly, you're a little infuriating because you really shouldn't be this much of a weight. I'm only 30, my last relationship was only 2.5 years, and dating at this stage in my life is actually completely and utterly normal.  So really dating, you can stop making me feel like a 55 year-old divorcee who hasn't been on the market since the early '80s.

I'm on top of technology. I sleep with my smart phone less than a foot from my bed, am always plugged into gchat, Facebook is a bad habit I can't break and to top it all off, I'm your local librarian--an information specialist. But dear God, dating, social media introduces a whole set of issues that quite frankly, I didn't really have to deal with when I met an older man years ago.

I'm not a second-guessing kind of gal, dating. I feel pretty confident most of the time but you have my stomach doing flips and my mind bugged out.  How much is too much? How can you tell if he's really serious about what he says? How do you get to know someone knew without life getting in the way? How can you balance new excitement without it fizzling?

These are the questions I want to answers to, dating. And maybe a few tips on how to be my wacky self without seeming too aloof, too crazy or too damaged and jaded. A little bit of help here is all I'm asking for.

With Love,
The Brassy Librarian


  1. I'm the absolute last person who should be offering advice on these matters - or anything involving social interaction.

    However..."a few tips on how to be my wacky self without seeming too aloof, too crazy or too damaged and jaded."

    Don't censor yourself. Any man who can't deal with your "wackiness," such as it is, isn't worth your precious time.

  2. Shannon. Read this. http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2011/10/the-offices-mindy-kaling-on-why-you-need-a-man-not-a-boy

  3. This. If Dating answers you, let me know what they say. Man, this shit is harder than I remember and I wasn't good at it to begin with!