List # 86: Things I Can't Write About

Sometimes I have the perfect blog post and I just don't write it. I get too worried that someone is going to read it and identify themselves. I worry that I'm going to cross some line that I won't be able to take back. But in the end, I just want to write.

I started this blog knowing that I would never reveal everything about me. I'm a social girl but I have to be honest in that I kind of hate running into people that I have to chitchat with. I'd rather tell you my whole life story that make small talk about something. Or only have conversations about plates and paint. So it would only make sense that I'd keep some mystery here. Trust me, that there has been a lot that's happened that won't grace the pages here.

But I'm on a mission to break through the barriers that scare me. I have this lingering desire to get back into writing stories. I want to write essays of my life. And I worry that no one will want to read them or they won't go anywhere.

So tonight I'm declaring what I want to write about, but so far, can't. In a mix of fiction and non-fiction, I'd like to create stories that illustrate:

Cousins in the summer as a children, laughing at jokes.

The hurt and pain you can feel when someone ignores you physically.

How saying "no" to a date in high school could change your whole course of action.

The day you discover your significant other spends more time looking at porn than looking at you.

Bearded men at Starbucks, drinking lattes in the morning.

Hot afternoons spent in the doorways, smelling flowers and leading to sex.

I know this sounds so ridiculous jumbled together. And please, don't try to pick it apart to find out what part is true and what isn't. The fact remains that they are stories unwritten. And of course there are more.

So, dear readers, care to share some stories you would love to tell but have a hard time letting go of? Or, even better, do have some advice for a girl who wants to put these pieces out there.