List # 32

At approximately 2:17 this afternoon, I felt blissfully happy. The sun was shining, there was spring crispness in the air and I felt like I was on the verge of an awakening. It was one of those few, fleeting moments of pure happiness and I honest-to-goodness felt as if nothing and no one could bring me down.

What isn't there to love about right now? A guy didn't want to be with me & I moved back in with my parents. Oh well. The world didn't fall apart. I'm actually pretty happy & surviving just fine. And even though that guy owes me $5 because Christian Bale did win an Oscar, he may just prove to be right about one thing: his leaving will probably be the best thing for me. There is pep in my step.

So today's list? A brief look at the things that had me smiling wide at 2:17 pm. I understand myself enough to know that 2:17 pm tomorrow, or the next day, or the next could have me feeling something completely different...but for today, I'll take smiles & comfort winning out over anxiety, loneliness, guilt & fear.

1. Librarianship. I'm one of those people who look forward to going to work each day, even if I don't like getting up early. My co-workers make me laugh, have similar visions, aren't judgmental & are supportive. Also, they can laugh/worry about Charlie Sheen and not feel like it's too low brow or beneath them.

2. Passion. Though this is tied into my profession, I'm just so thankful that I get to be a community member that makes a difference, bridges connections and gets to laugh & talk about books with people of all ages. Everyday.

3. Good Friends. They are near & far, but their coffee meetings, weekend walks, tweets, emails & gchats just make me feel so loved. So many people who love me for who I am & understand what it's like to be starting our third decade & sometimes, feeling a little lost & insecure. I wish I could see every one of them every day.

4. Outpouring of support. So many wonderful, sweet & completely unexpected people have sent comments, messages, emails and tweets telling me how much they are enjoying this blog. I cannot thank you enough for your kind words. This blog is a project that is fueling me and filled with my heart. It just warms me knowing that people are even reading, let alone enjoying.

5. Creativity. This blog. Programming. My new interest in taking fashion risks. All of it is creativity that I feel surging in ways that have been missed for a long time.

6. My awesome boobs. I'm not going to lie or try to be modest here. I love my chest, on the bigger side, and I love cute bras & knowing I am a sexy, more-than-you'd-ever-suspect, more-than-you-bargained-for woman. I'm pretty sure someone out there would appreciate it too.

7. Giggles. I laugh every day. And for this I am eternally grateful.

8. Family. My family, from parents to grandparents to cousins. They are supportive & wacky & funny. We are large, we are thick & we are a riot to be around. I'm just glad I have this Irish-Catholic brood to surround me.

9. Brown Eyes. Another favorite feature of mine. Big & bold. I remember kids in my 3rd grade class talking about how big my eyes could get & then my old students using them as a way to gauge when I was really upset. I am emotional. My eyes are expressive.

10. Shoes. Do I feel a renewed interest in heels coming on? Does slipping on a pair of my favorites make me feel sexy & confident even on cold mornings? Yes. I don't care if the only library tasks I have in a day are planning activities from my desk, telling skeevy men that the library is not a place to look at porn, ordering next month's awful James Patterson novel & explaining that I can't actually answer your tax question...I might as well do it feeling good about myself.

Here is to more moments like 2:17, lovelies. What makes you undeniably happy?


  1. I love your jugs too. And big brown eyes are the best! And I love our whacky family too.

  2. Reading your blog almost made me cry (in a good way!) because I know exactly the moments you are describing. Those times when we feel completely at peace, the world does not seem so large and uninviting, and our happiness is complete.

    It is the simple things in life that usually remind me of why I love this world we live in. I love those early mornings when my father and I are the only ones up, he makes his coffee and I my tea, wordlessly sharing the paper and the space in a dance that only we two know. Or the times in the early spring when I go on a walk through my neighborhood and can feel and smell the air changing, the warmth coming.

    Life is so beautiful.