List #119: What We Talk about When We Talk about the Beginning

In the beginning there is swooning. Lots and lots of swooning. From the simple things like learning this new person has seen every episode of The West Wing, just like you. Or perhaps you discover, in an early late-night conversation, that they too don't like the texture of cottage cheese. You'll smile because this means you'll always have the perfect show to watch on rainy evenings and you'll never have to spend your morning spooning white lumps into your mouth.

And during the first night you spend together, you barely sleep a wink. Too worried that you're going to snore, afraid you won't balance the sharing of sheets properly, too nervous that they'll be a light sleeper. You'll curse yourself for early morning workdays and perhaps say a silent prayer to no one in particular that this person doesn't flake out.

Tiny compliments will begin to be told. And then, tiny secrets to follow. They'll unfold over text messages and emails sent in the middle of the work day. You'll be smiling when you least expect it. And then have a flash of worry hoping they are experiencing the same. But somehow, you both keep coming to meet in the middle and you'll learn to push through the panic.

"We'll see," you just keep saying to yourself. "We'll see."

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