7.9.11

List #94: Giving it Time

If you've been reading from the beginning you'll remember that this blog started all because I came home from my first day of work in 2011 to be told that the person I loved just "couldn't do it anymore." And then it was a really hard winter, a really sad spring and a summer that showed some promise. And now it's autumn and I'm fulfilling a promise to myself.

Back around March, maybe, I was having a heart-to-heart with a friend, who at times took my break-up a little harder than me. She desperately thought by the time St. Patrick's Day rolled around the ex and I would be back together. Then, she thought for certain by the time the rain stopped in April. She was angry and in disbelief and felt cheated. And well, of course I agreed. But I knew even if he missed me, he was too proud to admit a mistake. I knew that decision was a sticking one.  And I told her that come autumn, I would have him packed away as best as I could to move on. I would have gone through denial, depression, repair and rebirth.

So it's September and 20 days before my 30th birthday. It's a time of year that I fall deeply in love with every calendar season. And have I done it? Well, I've done it the best that I can without finding someone new who has taken the place. 

I have:
  • Listened to the entirety of Graceland. Reclaimed it as the album I loved before road trips to small Ohio towns, Kentucky and everywhere in between.
  • Been on dates.  And even the worst wasn't that bad.
  • Deleted pictures on Facebook and locked them in a vault deep inside my hard drive. Even my favorite. Many thanks to Mark Zuckerberg for making this task a bit easier.
  • Survived surgery and pain meds without any embarrassing phone calls. Thank goodness for friends.
  • May (or may not) have even had sex. Have to keep the world guessing.
  • Traveled to the other coast and enjoyed a vacation all to myself. With two of my nearest and dearest friends, paying only for one. And damn, did it feel good.
  • Watched a How I Met Your Mother Marathon. Realized it's okay to be more like Ted than I'd care to admit, but have a streak of Robin but want a relationship like Lily and Marshall.
  • Been appreciated for my skills as a professional and as a woman. It never gets old meeting someone who wants to acknowledge your potential.
And is that it? Of course not. There is more to this list. Just like there is more to really moving on. And the jade in this girl probably won't go away until I really do meet the guy who wants to stick around for a bit. But I'll take the tiny hole over the gaping crevasse any day. I welcome autumn and new memories. 

I win.

So readers, what are making room for this autumn? Are you like me and welcome this season with open arms and hope? What have you done lately?

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