List # 38

Over the weekend a very dear friend commented that I always seem to be Tweeting about how hot/good I feel and that I should teach a class on self-esteem. And I took a look at my Tweets (By God, do I love Twitter by the way) and realized this was true. Part of this is because I too fall prey to what I refer to as "Facebook Syndrome." We all know what this is; the habit of only posting positive comments and unintentionally causing a downward spiral of self-doubt among those who are going through some tough times. And sure, I share when I feel on top of my game because it makes it all that much more real.

But the bigger reason I've been sharing, is because it's true. I honestly feel really good right now.

I feel as if I am starting an entire new chapter of my life. It's about fresh beginnings, new adventures. Stepping outside of my box and trying on new things like it's my job.

I recognize I am pretty accomplished for 29. Graduate degree? Lived abroad? Various teaching certificates? Lessons learned from terrible job & bad relationships? Got those all under my belt. Now topped with the job that I adore.

I'm embracing my curves and loving my body. Not your thing? That's okay, move right along.

I am surrounding myself with people who care. Friends who are there & enjoy good laughs. Colleagues who are supportive & innovative. Family who understands & lifts.

Retail therapy is a broken girl's best friend. New clothes for a new beginning. Filled with sexy skirts & dresses for feeling like my best. It's like purging all of the ugly in my life.

Accepting that I am cannot control other people's happiness or sanity. Period. End of sentence.

So that class I should teach? I would tell my students to not let the sad bring you down. Give yourself a few moments every day to wallow in the heart-breaking and then pack it up. I'm still wallowing, probably every day, even if I don't always acknowledge it. But then move on to the brighter things in life. Buy yourself a smokin' hot outfit & pour yourself a drink. Listen to music that makes you cry because you miss him, but listen to more songs that make you understand that you're better than what he was giving. Be sure to have something in your life that is a passion. Go explore & find it if you need to, but whether it's your job or your hobby you should have something that motivates you from within. Decide who & what makes you feel good and love them with all of your heart. Spend as much time as you can with you Mom. Push your limits & vow to work on the inner you. Try very hard to learn foreign things & work on making your life better than it is right. at. this. moment. Talk to new people, the young guy at the bar or the other regular you always see at Starbucks. Read a lot of books. Get out of town. Try, very hard, not to care what anyone else thinks. And then find a laugh every. single. day.

And then I'd let my students in on a little secret and let them know that each & every day is a battle to feel good. I just refuse to let a person who already took so much time away from me as he stole my heart & then dropped it to see it fall into a thousand little pieces take any more. I refuse to let the sad dominate any more than it needs to. I vow to make this spring a happy one. And I am making a promise to myself to use this time for me, to be different, to try new experiences & better the already kick-ass person I know I am. It's a struggle, but it's one that I'm always trying to win.

So, lovelies, what are your secrets to feeling good? What gets your self-esteem rising? What advice do you have for all of struggling on the inside? No reason not to share.


  1. There isn't a whole lot to envy, Spekkio. Each day comes with it's own troubles. Trust me.