List # 22

Things I Hate at the Moment:

1. I hate that I have go to the ex's house this afternoon & gather up my things. In many ways I have waited too long, but I'm still not ready.

2. I hate that even though I like to think I'm doing just fine, I cry at the sound of his voice. He should not have that power over me.

3. I hate that we don't know each other's lives anymore. I should be cheering on group projects & he should be here in rough times. And we should be having dates.

4. I hate that I have to deal with family things alone. Because it's not fun & overwhelming & unfair.

5. I hate that people always crack a joke about 27 Dresses when they find out how many weddings I've been in. Yeah, haha. My life is like that movie. Except that there is no guy chasing me to get that happy ending. Also, Katherine Hiegl sucks.

6. I hate that you just don't know when you're going to get to the part that makes it better. When will 2011 get significantly better?

7. I hate that I let someone into my life in ways that I didn't know was possible to have it disappear. Because how do I do that again?

8. I hate him. Okay, so I don't. But I'm angry & sometimes filled with rage. And wouldn't hate be so much easier?

And I know I really try not to be a negative person. And I think on a day-to-day level I'm at peace with a lot of things. But not having the person you used to talk about everything to, really kind of gets to you at unforeseen moments.